its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
