guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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