i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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