Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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