hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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