A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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