you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize