sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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