I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Even my vagina gasped.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
