Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
