Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
