I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
