just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
