you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
