my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She told me I should be a condom model.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
