I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
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