real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
