i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
