I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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