I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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