At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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