Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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