He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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