Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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