32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize