you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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