Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
