I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
