You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
and you fell through a lawn chair
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
