$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
