I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
