I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
