problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
