I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
