i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Damn victory sex feels great
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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