I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
