Non-Jews are for practice
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
