i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
