youre lurking in front of me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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