i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
