And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
