I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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