He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
