whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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