I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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