With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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