apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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