i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
