You just made me feel so damn special
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
