My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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