The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
