That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
