Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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