There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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