Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
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