Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
