would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it glows. i had to have it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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