She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema†were spoken.
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