I wish they made helmets for livers.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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