What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
