Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
