we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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