What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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